Merry Christmas!

Unfortunately, this morning's running statistics aren't as impressive as yesterday's. I was so pooped after staying up late last night watching Christmas DVD's that I needed to sleep in this morning and didn't leave on my run until after 7:30, and I only did 3.51 miles, burning a measly 495 calories and leaving myself up one pound since yesterday - and so the battle continues.

But at least we're catching up on the Christmas videos! Yesterday, almost one right after the other with hardly a break in between, Lynn and I made it through It's A Wonderful Life, The Polar Express, Beyond Christmas, and I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.

Today, as I write this, it's a balmy 71 degrees here in Scottsdale, we've got all the windows open and any dreams of a white Christmas have been thoroughly fulfilled vicariously through our just-completed annual viewing of the greatest Christmas movie of all time, A Christmas Story. ("Vicariously" is the best possible way to experience snow).

If I can manage to keep my eyes open, later tonight we're going to watch the SECOND greatest Christmas movie of all time, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Of course, if I do make it all the way through the end, it might just take the sound of a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant to wake me up in time for my run tomorrow morning! Wish me luck!

10 Miles Run, 1470 Calories Burned

...are the stats for my run high in Scottsdale's McDowell Mountain Ranch area this morning. I left before 6 a.m. and enjoyed some wonderful views of the city lights while continuing to work off seasonal dietary transgressions past and future. And if I have a sufficient quantity of both time and insanity I might just try to repeat the experience on Christmas morning too!

'Tis the season to chortle at the last minute shoppers. Of course that is a lot more fun if you're not among them. Personally, I haven't gone Christmas shopping since December 23, 1988, when I experienced crowds and lines so severe that I still have post-traumatic stress disorder 22 years later. If I am ever in lines like that again, I had better be at Walt Disney World waiting for Space Mountain - or the Ohana buffet at the Polynesian Resort.

Of course, eating at Ohana would require even more running to make up for it afterwards...but I digress.

While I didn't go Christmas shopping yesterday, I DID go grocery shopping. I do all my shopping at a local center that features a humongous parking lot framed by Sam's Club on one side and WalMart at the other. If there's anything that I can't find at either of these stores, I don't need it. And on this particular trip I didn't expect to need much time as I only had a handful of grocery items on my list. 

Actually, I didn't spend much time inside the stores. It was navigating the roiling sea of traffic in that humongous parking lot that was the time-consuming part. The good economic news for this holiday season is that myself notwithstanding, a lot of people are shopping for Christmas. The bad news is that they're all doing it at WalMart and Sam's Club. And a lot of them, like me, are obviously just browsing, because I didn't have any problem with very long lines at the cashier.

But oh those insane parking lot traffic patterns. According to Wikipedia, as of 2000 there were 202, 705 people living here in Scottsdale. Factor in our share of the people who left Michigan according to the 2010 census and my guess is we ought to be up to at least 210,000 by now. Well, yesterday afternoon, 209,999 of them including me were circling the WalMart parking lot (my wife, Lynn, was still at work). 

So the moral of the story is stock up on groceries a few days in advance. On December 23, stay home. 

Or go running. I had the top of McDowell Mountain Ranch all to myself this morning. Everybody else in town was still stuck at Sam's Club.

It's Done! It's Done! The Christmas Newsletter Is Done!

That's right!! If you're on my Christmas e-mailing list, your copy of the 2010 Gannon Christmas Newsletter should be in your inbox as of a few minutes ago. At least, as of this writing, I haven't gotten any error messages back YET saying any were unable to be delivered due to file size (which has been a problem in the past).

So, so far, I've only had to part with ONE 44-cent stamp - yes, there's only one person on my list who still doesn't have an e-mail address. (And if you have found this blog after reading the link in the newsletter - c'mon - sign up for a free Hotmail account or something - PLEASE!)

So now the work is finally done and I can finally go back to the fun of trying to catch up on the remaining two-thirds of our Christmas DVD movie collection. Only about 1,329 to go and with luck we might just finish by the 25th. Let's see, done with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Miracle on 34th Street - time to pull out Christmas with the Kranks and Deck the Halls.

Speaking of Deck the Halls, I've been inspired by this GREAT Christmas decorating idea. I might actually be inclined to put up some lights of my own next year after seeing how simple it can be!!!

By the way, if you're wondering how the Food vs. Exercise war is going, rest assured that I'm still winning. Even after another great Fugo de Chao's dinner for my birthday AND a splurge at the Great China Super Buffet the night before, I'm STILL down by a net one pound a week later. And contrary to previous posting, I've decided to forgo both eggnog AND fruitcake this season and am hoping to lose the last remaining 4 pounds and get back  under 175 by the end of the year. (I'm only 6 feet 4 inches tall, and having reached that all-time high in the low 180's a couple of months ago was a harrowing experience!)

Last night Lynn and I walked past this Christmas display, which is one of my favorites and situated high in the McDowell Mountain Ranch area - making for a great aerobic workout that helped burn more calories.

That picture was actually taken a few years ago, and the display has gotten even fancier every year since. Better yet, their neighbors across the street from them now appear to have begun a "Deck The Halls" style competition with them. I already can't wait to see what the block looks like NEXT year!

OK - I'm signing off. The Christmas movies are calling!

Thanksgiving's Over - And I WON!

What's that? You didn't know Thanksgiving was a competitive sport to be won? Or how to win it?

Simple! To win Thanksgiving, all you have to do is weigh less on the Sunday After than you did on Thanksgiving Morning. Having gone from 181 pounds (pre-run) on Thursday to 180 (after-run) today, I qualify!

But it wasn't easy. It was a royal battle, with the calorie-burning activities running (literally) neck and neck with the incoming turkey stuffing and related goodies. But after netting out

- the iHOP Pancake Breakfast,
- Lynn's home-cooked turkey dinner and
- two days of having leftover stuffing as a mealtime entree while sitting around watching Christmas DVD movies back to back

against

- an 11.87 mile run on Thursday,
- a one mile walk on Friday (give me a break; I was still limping after that Thursday run),
- a three mile walk AND twelve mile bike ride in the hills yesterday, and
- a three and a half mile run this morning - hopefully to be followed by another hilly bike ride after I post this -

the calories expended exceeded those consumed, so I WON!

But I don't get to relax just yet. Oh no! Remember that great buffet Brazilian restaurant, Fogo de Chao, from my October 17th post?

Well, my birthday is coming up. (I'm turning 21 for the two-and-a-third time). And guess where we're going next weekend to celebrate? That's right!!! So guess what I'm going to be doing even more of in the time between now and then? Right again!!!

Is there enough rubber left on my bike tires and the soles of my running shoes to last and carry me through the next few days? I hope so!

The Day After

Well, yesterday's 15-mile run left me done in and my leg muscles tied in knots. It was all I could do to move out from under the covers when I woke up this morning.

So I did the only thing I could: I got up and went for a bike ride! After all, the only cure for sore muscles is to keep them moving.

I've never actually considered bike riding exercise - and for good reason. Compared to yesterday's more-than-half-marathon run, this morning's 1 hour, 23 minute bike ride only covered 11.54 miles and burned a measly 485 calories - that wouldn't even cover a Burger King Whopper. So this morning's, um, "activity" was only recreation, not a workout.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), as I type this I'm not eating a Burger King Whopper - I'm working my way through a plate of broccoli. If that doesn't help me live longer, at least it will seem that way!

But that's it for "exercise" today. I'm on the last day of vacation from work today, and I'm going to spend the rest of it relaxing with DVD's. Ferris Beuller's Day Off, here I come!

Technology - The Best Exercise Motivator

I'm a user of Runkeeper, a free iPhone app that tracks exercise activities including not just running, as the name implies, but also biking, walking and numerous others.

Runkeeper uses GPS to track distance, and also measures time, computes pace, and calculates calories burned depending on the activity.

Using Runkeeper can be discouraging or encouraging depending on the results. The biggest disappointment I've experienced since starting to use it a few months ago is to find out that my "normal" running pace is not the 10 or fewer minutes per mile at which I had always assumed I run, but actually something closer to 11 minutes per mile.

On the other hand, that awareness of my pace has motivated me to make an effort to work on speed, something I hadn't worried about doing since running high school cross country over 32 years ago.

Another thing using Runkeeper can do is to make it more tempting to run longer distances. This morning I set out on a route I last did a few months ago - before getting Runkeeper. I had never formally measured the distance of this route, but had estimated it on Google Earth as being approximately 13 miles - or almost a half-marathon. So I decided to run this unofficial half-marathon again this morning and use Runkeeper to verify the distance.

It did turn out that my estimate had been reasonably close. The only issue was that when I reached the half-marathon distance - 13.1 miles - I was still about a mile from home. So I decided to keep running to round it up to an even 14 (might as well, since I'd only be walking to get home anyway, right?) But then as I got closer to the 14 mile mark I decided to go for an even 15 - after all, it would only take a few more loops around a few more blocks in the neighborhood!!!

So that's how I wound up running 15 miles this morning. Runkeeper also calculated that in the 2 hours, 39 minutes, and 54 seconds of running that I did, I had an average pace of 10 minutes and 40 seconds per mile and burned a total of 2,169 calories.

I followed that up with copious stretching as well as a hot bath to (hopefully) prevent any serious muscular repercussions. Now all that remains to be seen is whether I am able to walk when I get out of bed tomorrow morning. Will I? Tune in for future entries to find out!!!!

Drip System Repair - A Plug For a Great Company

If you've read my October 2, 2010 post, you know where I stand when it comes to household maintenance projects of any sort. You know that when anything breaks down around here, the only question that remains to be answered is: "To whom do I make the check payable?"

Well, if the maintenance project involves outdoor irrigation and drip systems, and you live anywhere in the Valley of the Sun, the correct answer is:

Able Irrigation, LLC, 244 W. Alice, Phoenix, AZ 85021 (602) 595-6800, www.phxsprinkler.com

As I write this, they have just left my house after bailing out This Lazy Homeowner by providing phenomenal service at a very reasonable price.

Over the course of an hour and a half of back-breaking labor, two Able Irrigation technicians did everything short of tunnel under my driveway and succeeded in finding and fixing an underground leak. They also checked and fixed all plug outlets on my property, installed a couple of extra outlets to some recently-added plantings, and to boot they cleaned up a less-than-sightly amateur patch job that I foolishly dared to attempt myself a few months ago.

All this for less than the price of dinner for two at a low-end white-tablecloth restaurant!

I can't recommend these guys highly enough. For anyone who hasn't already earned a master's degree in landscape engineering, Able Irrigation is worth it for your outdoor irrigation projects!

Harry Mitchell

YOU'RE FIRED!

Halloween Report!

When you're not only on a sugar-free diet, but almost four decades too old to go trick-or-treating, your Halloween options are limited.

But that doesn't mean they have to be dull!

Yesterday I enjoyed a six hour DVD marathon including TWO Stephen King movies ("IT" and "Christine") as well as the ever-popular "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!"

But even more fun was the bike ride I took right at sundown. I toured for miles around in every direction taking in some great Halloween displays. Some of our neighbors get more creative every year, adding not only decorations, but music and chilling sound effects. For years, I've enjoyed this one right on the corner of my own block:

But there is now another one just a couple of miles north of my house which has been expanding every year and which is now already so spooktacular that it has its own Facebook page at The Halloween House. It has even been written up in a local news article at Examiner.com. Here is just one picture.

However, the one picture just doesn't do this place justice. You really need to visit the Facebook page and check out the many other pictures and even videos that have been posted. Or better yet see the place in person like I did. Unfortunately, it's now all over for another year, but don't worry: next Halloween is only 364 days away!

No, I haven't disappeared!

I've just been busy. Busy with work, busy with chores, busy with surfing the Internet and answering and passing on junky political emails (I can't WAIT until the election's over, but that's another story...)

But MOST of my busy-ness in the last week had to do with eating. And exercising. Mainly, one big day of eating and a week of exercising to undo the damage.

Last weekend Lynn and I took my parents out to celebrate my dad's 80th birthday. And we spent about 80 dollars per person and consumed 80 pounds of food per person. And I have spent at least 80 hours in the last week running and biking in a vain attempt to cancel out the 80,000 or so calories in my own meal alone.

It was all VERY well worth it.

We dined at Fogo De Chao. Unless you're a vegetarian and/or impecunious, you have GOT to try this place out. All in one restaurant, I had the pleasure of experiencing some of the best steak I have ever had in my life, the best pork I have ever had in my life, ABSOLUTELY the best key lime pie I have ever had in my life (including any actually consumed in Florida!) and some of the best restaurant service I have ever had in my life.

I first went here with just my wife Lynn when we celebrated her birthday last July - and we unanimously decided then and there that we were going to bring my parents there for Dad's celebration in October.

Fogo is an all-you-can-eat Brazilian steak house. Diners are given coaster-like disks colored red on one side and green on the other, which are used to signal whether they are ready for more food (green) or want the servers to stop for a while (red). Flip the disk to green, and you are immediately nearly ASSAULTED as servers come from all directions with skewers of delicious meats, all prepared to utter perfection - nothing undercooked, nothing overcooked, nothing dry - everything absolutely tender and juicy and perfect. Along with these cuts of meat are constantly replenished bowls of delicious warm rolls, sweetened cooked bananas, and mashed potatoes. Oh, and did I mention the fresh salad bar with not only salad, but also cheese and fish items that could easily serve as a meal unto themselves?

I wonder if they're open for Thanksgiving. If so, forget turkey - we're going back!!!!! No worries. I've already purchased my next two spare pairs of running shoes, and they've been delivered. Now all I have to do is get that home equity loan approved, and I'll be ready!

What A Bunch Of Garbage!

I am an office worker. I am NOT a mechanic or a handyman. Not in any way, shape or form. The only way anything ever gets fixed around my house is when it absolutely no longer functions AND when that lack of function poses an immediate health threat.

Well, as luck would have it, last night I flipped a switch in my kitchen only to find that my garbage disposal no longer functioned. This was AFTER having dumped into it the entire unfinished remains from my cat (oops, I mean Rottweiler) Jerry's dinner bowl of Super Ultra Stinky Canned Cat Dog Glop into it.

So naturally a bolt of panic flashed through me as I immediately began contemplating the most sobering thought imaginable: "Just how badly is this going to screw up what might be my last Saturday of triple-digit bike riding heat until next May?"

It was a wonder I managed to sleep through the night.

Fortunately, today I can breathe easily. A quick trip to Sears, a purchase of a new disposal along with the optional extra professional installation package, and now all I have to do is wait for the phone call Monday to set up the appointment for the work to get done and for this whole ugly incident to be safely behind me.

And most importantly of all, I got right back home and didn't lose a minute of that precious bike riding time. And I've got the tan lines to prove it.

So I averted a potential wrecking of the weekend. Instead, the installation will get done on a weekday this week, and, as an added bonus, that will give me a handy excuse to put off updating this blog.


In the meantime it's back to scraping plates into the garbage can the old-fashioned way. A return to the primitive methods of my childhood. 


But does someone out there have a spare clothes pin I might borrow to put on my nose while handling that partially-used pet food?


Anyone?


Aw, come on....

Fair Warning

The other day I sent the link to this blog to a friend and former co-worker in Michigan. This person immediately responded back that I needed to be careful what I write on here.

So I'm thinking...hm...well...duh...yeah...I mean, it's not like I'd ever really post about my Most Embarrassing Middle School P.E. Moment.

But this person further clarified: "Crooks like to read blogs so they know when you're not home."

I've got to admit, that wasn't really the first thought that had occurred to me. But now that it's been mentioned, I guess I'd better clear things up right away.

So just in case any crooks are reading this, be aware here and now that:

1) Our house is protected by three security systems and additional hidden surveillance cameras.

2) I possess almost nothing of any value. (I borrow the computer at the public library to enter these posts). That's right, no valuables around here, unless you count the AK-47 at my bedside.

3) My wife Lynn and I are very happy living here with our ten pet Rottweilers.  So happy, in fact, that we never leave home to go anywhere. Why would we want to, when we already live in the best place on Earth?

Thanks, CJ from Michigan, for the reminder to set the record straight! :)

A Reprieve From Depression

That's right!!!

You see, over the years I've lived here in the Valley of the Sun, it's been my experience that September 27 on average has marked the last day of triple-digit temperatures. It also usually marks the first date on which the end of the day temperature gets cool enough that I have to put a shirt on when going for an evening walk, so no more t*pless walks after that date.

(That wasn't a typo. I just didn't want to have to bite my nails speculating on what sort of visitors the search engines would have started to bring me if I hadn't slightly censored that last sentence).

Be that as it may, it looks like this year is going to be different. The triple digits are predicted to hang around at least through this coming weekend - yes - into October!!!!

I LOVE the heat. How much do I love the heat? So much that if I did actually believe in "Gore-bal Warming," I'd make a point of driving extra miles in my car AND deliberately spraying aerosol cans directly into the atmosphere to help things along even further! Even my wife calls me the "Heat Miser" - after the character from the old Christmas special.

Most people around here (the ones that think I'm insane for enjoying the heat as much as I do) are groaning to hear that. But they don't understand. Before relocating to the Grand Canyon State, I threw away the first 40 years of my life freezing in Michigan (the Frigid Mitten State). Yep, in third place behind only Alaska and possibly Minnesota on the Icicle Misery Index. The place where unless you're an ice skater or a skier, the only decent months of the year are June, July and the first half of August - and the first half of August is questionable and you STILL get rain or at least clouds at least a third of the time in June and July. The place where if your plans in any way depend on the weather, you are never safe making them more than an hour in advance.

Coming from a background like that, what I'm doing now is making up for lost time. I wouldn't mind a bit if I never saw a flake of snow, or a daily low below 70, or a daily high under 100, again for as long as I live. You don't have to shovel heat. And it's great to be able to just get dressed for a morning run or just about any other outdoor activity without having to check the weather forecast or even look out the window - because you KNOW it's going to be a clear, wonderful day. And even on Monday you KNOW you can look forward to a great weekend with next-to-nil chance of crappy weather ruining things.

Except during the so-called "monsoon" season. But that's a topic I'll save for next July. Meanwhile, I'm celebrating.

YIKES! (I just realized what today is!)

Holy cow, it's the 25th.

Of SEPTEMBER.

Meaning there are only three months left.

Until CHRISTMAS.

The busy season. The crowded malls. The one hundred Christmas DVD movies to check off my must-watch-before-Dec. 24th-list. And...the Christmas cards...and the stamps, and the addressing, and the sticky tongue from all the licking...

Oh. Wait a minute. STOP EVERYTHING. I don't do that anymore. No need for me to go into cardiac arrest after all. For several years now, I've been publishing an annual Christmas newsletter document and sending it out by email to everyone on my list.

Well, almost everyone. There are a few people whose ISP's don't let them receive documents with as large a file size as those year-end extravaganzas of mine. But maybe now that I have a blog, I can get around that by posting my newsletter HERE and just sending a link! I'll just have to brush up my XML skills and see what I can come up with.

Another bit of good news is that for these same last few years I've gotten around that whole issue of the last minute panic-rush to come up with ideas to get that newsletter filled up. I've stuck to a format whereby I allocate a space for the happenings of each individual month of the year - and I actually write the "chapter" for each month at the end of that month. So that means by next week I'll be three-quarters done with the newsletter!

Which will leave me more time for catching up on those videos.

And posting on this blog.

And playing Christmas songs on my iPod.

And shopping for the fruitcake and eggnog.

And eating the fruitcake and eggnog.

And going on long runs to BURN UP the fruitcake and eggnog!

These next three months may not be so bad after all! :)

E. Michael Gannon enters the Blogosphere!

Ta-da! Well here I am!!! Now what do I do? Oh, right - blog!!!

Actually, I don't know just how much I'm going to post here - if at all - after this! The truth is I only signed up for a Google Account so I could post on the blog of a favorite ex-Disney podcaster - Jonathan Dichter, Voice Of Mouse Tunes - who for three wonderful years brought the mayhem to the All About The Mouse podcast which he so skillfully co-hosted with Bryan Ripper.

Then I saw the option to create my own blog - with my own personalized Internet URL - and couldn't resist. Over ten years of surfing the Information Superhighway and I've never had my own URL before - so after years of posting anonymously on various forums it was about time.

So will this be my first and only post? Or will I be unable to resist the "ham" nature in myself and start blogging? Only time will tell.